I was browsing through some of my old Myspace blog posts that I had written long before I graduated into blogger land, and I found this simple paragraph that I had originally wrote for my "about me," but then saved it as a blog. I remember writing this when I was about 17, and in an all time high in my life.
Well anyway, here it is:
The truth is, I live in a fairytale land. A place full of imagination and wonder, where the world is perfect and everything is possible. It is as equally captivating as it is beautiful. The aspect of me that houses my inner child. This is the place where I draw my inspiration from, the place that keeps me sane in this dreadful world. It is the same place that we all knew of as children, but slowly forgot about as we grew older. Sort of the whole "Neverland" Concept. Only, I never forgot how to fly.
After reading this tonight, I've realized something.
In the last few years? I have forgotten how to fly.
It's like slowly over time this knowledge fades ever so gently to the back of your mind, so far back that you just can't seem to retrieve it. And it happens so slowly that you don't even notice until it's gone.
Since I've gotten older and gone into college, I suppose I've grown up and forgotten about the Neverland.
The Neverland that was so dreamy and possible. It's hard to even remember what it looked like.
Now? My world is composed of nothing more than work, school, church and balancing personal relationships.
And I can't help but notice that I've gotten so negative over the years. Others have noticed, too.
It's quite a contrast from someone who used to be so care free and lovely.
Now I'm not saying that I regret that my priorities have changed.
I'm thrilled that I finally have my head out of the clouds when it comes to certain matters.
I just miss the imagination that was in my life.
The constant inspiration and excitement of... Well? Thinking.
Thinking about the unthought of. The deeper part of life.
Getting excited about the little things.
This is what I used to thrive on.
I miss that.
I've become so flat and superficial lately. So boring. So... Old.
And I'm too young to be old.
My new personal project, starting tonight, is to revive that old part of me, and bring her back into existance.
No more negativity, no more impossibles.
More imagination, more inspiration, more dedication, more appreciation.
This is a fresh start, a new beginning.
Sincerely, Yours Truly